Jesus. Jesus Christ, this explains a lot. He stares at both of them, incredulous, and laughs again. "Why am I — seriously?" Hand to his forehead. "Yeah, the Vatican sent me to spy on you. No, Jesus Christ, what are you talking about? I came here to piss off Conlan and to eat for free. I came here cos the Evanses are gonna be okay and I thought going to a fancy party would be more of a celebration than sitting in some dive. Which, hindsight, that's hilarious. But this is a fuck-up, not a sodding conspiracy."