The peanut butter is starting to get weird. Marcus blinks at it and files it away for a later question: he can focus, now, on getting the first aid kit out and fetching gauze.
"Worse, huh? So am I allowed to nag you about looking after yourself better? Or do I have to wait 'til there are no holes in you."
Midnighter huffs out another wet breath of laughter. "You're not nagging me now?"
He grabs handfuls of the gauze and smacks them haphazardly onto his chest; they immediately begin to mold to his skin, sticking in place and stoppering the bleeding.
"You ain't seen nagging," Marcus says, and finally relaxes a little once he sees: okay, that's not just gauze, is it? He takes a handful and comes behind Midnighter to help patch up his back, quick and deft.
"Don't laugh, I can hear your lungs. Bloody fool." He sighs, but he sounds tired more than angry, and leans in briefly to pop a kiss atop Midnighter's head from behind. "That gonna hold?"
The 'gauze' feels and acts like gauze until it touches Midnighter's skin, where it immediately adheres to his wounds, tightly closing the punctures. If it's painful, Midnighter doesn't let it show.
The kiss is what makes it all worth it. He's lean back into it, but Marcus is gone a moment later, and Midnighter... would probably crush him anyway. Skinny bastard.
"You're lucky you can't see 'em. Show you something pretty," He stares at his reflection in the mirror, not entirely pleased by what he's let Marcus see, but, hey, he asked, right? And he doesn't seem to mind. Huh.
"It'll hold. Polyfiber auto-adhesive, self-cleaning... synced to my DNA signature... blah blah blah, whatever, it's high quality shit. Hey, this is... this isn't too much for you, right?" Midnighter leans forward, knuckles on the countertop, while the gauze forms around him. He pulls some bandages out of the box and begins looping them over his shoulder.
The question isn't welcome: Marcus has blocked out the way the blood drying on the tiles feels tacky under his boots, the fact that the rebar is still just sitting there. Midnighter asking brings it all too much into focus. His mouth tightens into a crooked line.
But: "Lemme do that, here," he mutters, taking the bandages. He's got a better angle. It's better to have something to focus on.
"It's alright," he says after a moment. "Blood, guts, that's fine, seen enough of that. Just worried me for a moment." Longer than a moment. A week. Hell, a month and a bit...nearly two months. Nearly two months since they've been in the same room.
Not the time. They're both busy.
"All fine. Get to watch you sleep for a change, huh?"
That isn't what Midnighter meant, but he's far from coherent or particularly perceptive. He lets his head hang from his shoulders, eyes fluttering. He can actually feel the fatigue, a rarity he never appreciates in the moment.
"If- if you want," he says, looking at Marcus in the mirror. He's lovely, as usual, even slightly smeared with blood and too thin as always. "I'll try not to go full coma so you don't get stranded in fucking Oakland."
"Is that where we are?" Marcus says, and the surprise actually makes him laugh: for some reason he wasn't expecting that. His hands on the bandages stutter, and then he fixes them in place, and relaxes a little into Midnighter's side, careful not to put too much weight on him.
"You just sleep," he says quietly. "I've got — I need to go in the morning. But I can stay here tonight, alright?" He rubs his hand over Midnighter's back, careful to avoid the worst of the damage. "Should wash off some of this blood before you crash. Clean out the other cuts. Sit down and let me?"
"You wanna?" He looks up a little slow, and there's dull surprise on his face. But something about gift horses and mouths; he shakes his head, smiling faintly. "I mean- sure, sure."
He sits down on the closed toilet, similarly sleek and minimalist, like everything in the apartment. Midnighter leans forward, somehow managing to loom despite being in a sitting position, his elbows on his knees. His head hangs from his shoulders, and his eyes are weary, but that little smile is still there.
"You can wake me up in the morning, but do it with a fucking broom handle or something. Computer's set to be a bastard when I'm below 73% efficiency, can't always override when I'm waking up with some missing ribs."
For a few moments, Marcus isn't sure what he means: he's running the hot tap and soaking part of another clean towel before he realises Midnighter's warning him.
"Wake you up from a distance?" He squeezes out the towel and comes over to start wiping off some of the blood and the run-off from whatever the green stuff was. "Yeah. I can do that. Jesus..."
Softer, a little stressed, as he takes pains not to press on anywhere that might be tender: "Course I want to stay. Near enough two months that I don't see you, and when I do you're impaled on...what is that, huh?"
Pressing or no, it makes no difference; Midnighter doesn't react to pain. He looks at Marcus with dull, almost hesitant curiosity. "I, uh." Is he allowed to say this? It feels like imposing. "Yeah. Missed you, too."
But onto other things-- "It's the stuff they put in concrete walls. Tends to come loose when you get thrown through one."
Missed you. Marcus blinks, and ducks his head, and smiles. Yeah. He hadn't realised that was what he meant.
Regardless of the lack of reaction, he's almost reverently gentle as he mops off blood. He leans over to the sink again to rinse out the now bloodied towel. "And so you were gonna...pull it out of you and then just go to bed?" He'd have been able to handle it, of course. Marcus knows he's not doing anything essential; he's just cleaning up, trying to make this go easier. Still, he doesn't like the idea of Midnighter doing this alone.
"No, I'm not that-" he's not sure what adjective comes here. Maybe stupid, but he doesn't want to accuse Marcus of calling him that. "I usually just pull everything out, shower, patch up and sleep. You're making it a lot faster. Easier."
It's what Andrew used to do. It's what Matt never did-- he hid this from Matt. Maybe if he hadn't... that doesn't fucking matter. He watches Marcus wash away blood like Midnighter's a person who understands normal, human pain, and he sighs.
"You asked if I wanted somebody to come home to," he says. "This kinda shit's... why. Not because I'm, y'know, because I need a nurse. But- this is nice, right?" He reaches limply for Marcus' head, trying to caress his jaw, to put their foreheads together. His voice has a twinge of despiration. He's not the only one who feels this, right?
"Nice," Marcus says, incredulous: no, it's not nice, he's got Midnighter's blood staining his shirt, but — Midnighter's reaching for him, and so he catches his hand, leans his cheek into his palm. He knows what Midnighter means, even if his way of saying it throws him. So he softens and sighs.
"I dunno how you did this stuff alone," he mutters. Then he thinks about it: smaller scale, but he's being a hypocrite. He grimaces. "No, actually. Worse. I know exactly how you did this stuff alone." Gentle, he strokes the back of his knuckles across Midnighter's jaw. "To hell with that, right?"
Midnighter watches Marcus' expression shift, feeling a little slow, out of the loop. He's missing something? Marcus doesn't seem to agree. He's been angry since he got here, but it's usual level of annoyed, so that's something... He mulls over this until Marcus touches his face, and Midnighter closes his eyes, leaning into the touch on instinct.
That's nice. Can't be that bad if Marcus is still touching him. Probably overthinking things again.
He turns his head and kisses Marcus' hand. "In this together, that what you're saying?"
"Think so, yeah," he says, and his mouth turns up at one corner. Finally, his concern has worn thin enough that a kind of exasperated fondness is visible on his face. He tuts softly, taps his knuckles against Midnighter's chin.
Midnighter closes his eyes, shuts his mouth, lightly presses his lips to Marcus' knuckles, his fingers, his fingertips. Anything to distract him, to keep him from blurting out I love you. "I'm hard to kill," he says softly. "And believe me, it's not from lack of assholes trying their best. Got some new problems, is all. As much as I don't know important shit, your... religion, all that, I know fights. I'll pull through." He looks up, "for you."
Marcus' breath catches, confused: is he that important, really? He almost laughs, a little disbelieving, and then he nods, and thumbs away a bit of blood from Midnighter's lower lip and kisses him. Gentle, mouth closed: he doesn't want to get the taste of blood in his mouth. But he wants to kiss him all the same. Tries to put the stuff he's not sure he can say into it, the stuff that he doesn't have words for, like how when he pictures Midnighter he gets this warm, secret, precious feeling like a candle he wants to cup his hands around to protect.
Midnighter leans into it, a sigh caught in his throat. That was perfect. This is the sort of thing he dreams of, the life he misses most after leaving Andrew-- coming home to (or with) someone who understands, who can withstand it and understand it, and will help with clean up after. He doesn't need a partner, but he wants one.
He can only be so earnest for so long, though; there's a vulnerability there that threatens to let him slip, say something before either of them are ready to deal with it, promise grandiose things and ridiculous gestures that scare rather than amaze and delight.
His expression inches toward wry. "Yeah," he agrees. "Otherwise, how'd I send you more pictures?"
Marcus' laugh comes out a bit frantically relieved: good, he's not sure how much more intensity he can do before he starts getting upset. He scuffs Midnighter's jaw and steps back a moment to recover the first aid kit, and then he's back in reach.
"Yeah, I prefer that kind of heart attack," he murmurs, grinned all crooked as he opens the kit to pull out plasters and what he assumes are alcohol wipes. He wants to cover up some of the nastier cuts on Midnighter's shoulders and neck. "Got your message when I was out in public. Nearly forgot how to breathe."
It feels weirdly easy to say that. Like a brush with the possibility of Midnighter not being okay has loosened his nervousness, put things in perspective.
Midnighter snickers, and much less blood bubbles up this time. He's already healing. "Killing somebody with dirty pictures. That's a new one. Think I'll pass."
He snorts, still thinking it over, a fond memory made more distant from the last week spent fighting. He moves to accommodate whatever medical shit Marcus is putting on him-- Midnighter doesn't need any more patching up at this point, but he suspects it'll make Marcus feel better-- and lets the memory flow back. "Shit, I had this whole routine planned out for you. What I was gonna say and shit. Real impressive, actually; sorry you missed it."
Patching Midnighter up feels good, reparative, useful. Feels like he's building himself back up, too. Marcus is careful and obviously well-practiced, cleaning up a nasty abrasion on his shoulder. He snorts, wry, and says, "Don't say that, don't tell me what I missed."
But that's not what he wants, not really. It just takes him a while. After a few moments of quiet, he wets his lips and murmurs, tentative, his hands not stilling and his eyes on his work, not Midnighter's face: "What were you gonna say?"
He's not turned on, exactly. Blood and pain have never done it for him. But there's something intimate about this chance to be tender with Midnighter, and he wants to hold onto it however he can.
"Well, I'd show you, but red's not really my color." He snorts, and turns his head to the side, giving Marcus more room. He hums a little, trying to recall the exact wording. "Was gonna tell you about the shit I was thinking of that got me off. What I wanted you to do to me ...Maybe hoping I could tempt you into staying the night. Or at least a quickie." He winks.
To do to him. Marcus huffs and flushes pink and grins, smoothing down the edge of a fabric plaster and moving on to clean out a small but deep slash across Midnighter's collarbone. "Might've worked." He thinks about it. Thinks about struggling to get his hand down his jeans in that cramped little convent room. "Would've almost definitely worked. You can, uh."
This is good, having something to keep his hands busy with is good. He sticks butterfly bandages neatly into place. "You can send me more of those whenever you like." With a flash of something a bit wicked and teasing: "When you're all better, I mean."
Midnighter looks up with an expression of surprise, dulled only by tiredness. "Really, huh." He hadn't expected that. "Figuring you'd chew me out for it, not..."
He's not sure. Not want more, maybe, or not like it. The lines of what Marcus wants and adamantly doesn't want are thin and brittle and difficult for Midnighter to predict. He wants Marcus to be comfortable. He also wants to touch him everywhere almost all the time.
Even now, though the desire is more platonic, more lazy; the idea of laying down with Marcus in his arms sounds like a fucking miracle.
"Well, I'll put that on my to-do list when I'm no longer perforated." He gives Marcus a wicked look in return. "That means you got three days to steel yourself, babe."
Marcus laughs: he doesn't know whether Midnighter meant to make a Biblical reference there. Probably not. Businesslike, he pats down a few more strips of sticking plaster across the cuts on his cheek and jaw, and then he leans in and kisses his forehead.
"Well. I was thinking about telling you off for it," he admits. "It's amazing what a bit of metal will put in perspective, huh?" He shrugs, and, defiant and with determined effort, he says, "Life's short. I liked the damn picture."
He holds out his hands. "C'mon. Come up. I'd pick you up, but, you know. Wanna leave you a bit of your pride."
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"Worse, huh? So am I allowed to nag you about looking after yourself better? Or do I have to wait 'til there are no holes in you."
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He grabs handfuls of the gauze and smacks them haphazardly onto his chest; they immediately begin to mold to his skin, sticking in place and stoppering the bleeding.
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"Don't laugh, I can hear your lungs. Bloody fool." He sighs, but he sounds tired more than angry, and leans in briefly to pop a kiss atop Midnighter's head from behind. "That gonna hold?"
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The kiss is what makes it all worth it. He's lean back into it, but Marcus is gone a moment later, and Midnighter... would probably crush him anyway. Skinny bastard.
"You're lucky you can't see 'em. Show you something pretty," He stares at his reflection in the mirror, not entirely pleased by what he's let Marcus see, but, hey, he asked, right? And he doesn't seem to mind. Huh.
"It'll hold. Polyfiber auto-adhesive, self-cleaning... synced to my DNA signature... blah blah blah, whatever, it's high quality shit. Hey, this is... this isn't too much for you, right?" Midnighter leans forward, knuckles on the countertop, while the gauze forms around him. He pulls some bandages out of the box and begins looping them over his shoulder.
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But: "Lemme do that, here," he mutters, taking the bandages. He's got a better angle. It's better to have something to focus on.
"It's alright," he says after a moment. "Blood, guts, that's fine, seen enough of that. Just worried me for a moment." Longer than a moment. A week. Hell, a month and a bit...nearly two months. Nearly two months since they've been in the same room.
Not the time. They're both busy.
"All fine. Get to watch you sleep for a change, huh?"
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"If- if you want," he says, looking at Marcus in the mirror. He's lovely, as usual, even slightly smeared with blood and too thin as always. "I'll try not to go full coma so you don't get stranded in fucking Oakland."
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"You just sleep," he says quietly. "I've got — I need to go in the morning. But I can stay here tonight, alright?" He rubs his hand over Midnighter's back, careful to avoid the worst of the damage. "Should wash off some of this blood before you crash. Clean out the other cuts. Sit down and let me?"
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He sits down on the closed toilet, similarly sleek and minimalist, like everything in the apartment. Midnighter leans forward, somehow managing to loom despite being in a sitting position, his elbows on his knees. His head hangs from his shoulders, and his eyes are weary, but that little smile is still there.
"You can wake me up in the morning, but do it with a fucking broom handle or something. Computer's set to be a bastard when I'm below 73% efficiency, can't always override when I'm waking up with some missing ribs."
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"Wake you up from a distance?" He squeezes out the towel and comes over to start wiping off some of the blood and the run-off from whatever the green stuff was. "Yeah. I can do that. Jesus..."
Softer, a little stressed, as he takes pains not to press on anywhere that might be tender: "Course I want to stay. Near enough two months that I don't see you, and when I do you're impaled on...what is that, huh?"
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But onto other things-- "It's the stuff they put in concrete walls. Tends to come loose when you get thrown through one."
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Regardless of the lack of reaction, he's almost reverently gentle as he mops off blood. He leans over to the sink again to rinse out the now bloodied towel. "And so you were gonna...pull it out of you and then just go to bed?" He'd have been able to handle it, of course. Marcus knows he's not doing anything essential; he's just cleaning up, trying to make this go easier. Still, he doesn't like the idea of Midnighter doing this alone.
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It's what Andrew used to do. It's what Matt never did-- he hid this from Matt. Maybe if he hadn't... that doesn't fucking matter. He watches Marcus wash away blood like Midnighter's a person who understands normal, human pain, and he sighs.
"You asked if I wanted somebody to come home to," he says. "This kinda shit's... why. Not because I'm, y'know, because I need a nurse. But- this is nice, right?" He reaches limply for Marcus' head, trying to caress his jaw, to put their foreheads together. His voice has a twinge of despiration. He's not the only one who feels this, right?
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"I dunno how you did this stuff alone," he mutters. Then he thinks about it: smaller scale, but he's being a hypocrite. He grimaces. "No, actually. Worse. I know exactly how you did this stuff alone." Gentle, he strokes the back of his knuckles across Midnighter's jaw. "To hell with that, right?"
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That's nice. Can't be that bad if Marcus is still touching him. Probably overthinking things again.
He turns his head and kisses Marcus' hand. "In this together, that what you're saying?"
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"Had me worried for a second."
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"Yeah," he mumbles, "you better an' all."
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He can only be so earnest for so long, though; there's a vulnerability there that threatens to let him slip, say something before either of them are ready to deal with it, promise grandiose things and ridiculous gestures that scare rather than amaze and delight.
His expression inches toward wry. "Yeah," he agrees. "Otherwise, how'd I send you more pictures?"
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"Yeah, I prefer that kind of heart attack," he murmurs, grinned all crooked as he opens the kit to pull out plasters and what he assumes are alcohol wipes. He wants to cover up some of the nastier cuts on Midnighter's shoulders and neck. "Got your message when I was out in public. Nearly forgot how to breathe."
It feels weirdly easy to say that. Like a brush with the possibility of Midnighter not being okay has loosened his nervousness, put things in perspective.
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He snorts, still thinking it over, a fond memory made more distant from the last week spent fighting. He moves to accommodate whatever medical shit Marcus is putting on him-- Midnighter doesn't need any more patching up at this point, but he suspects it'll make Marcus feel better-- and lets the memory flow back. "Shit, I had this whole routine planned out for you. What I was gonna say and shit. Real impressive, actually; sorry you missed it."
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But that's not what he wants, not really. It just takes him a while. After a few moments of quiet, he wets his lips and murmurs, tentative, his hands not stilling and his eyes on his work, not Midnighter's face: "What were you gonna say?"
He's not turned on, exactly. Blood and pain have never done it for him. But there's something intimate about this chance to be tender with Midnighter, and he wants to hold onto it however he can.
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This is good, having something to keep his hands busy with is good. He sticks butterfly bandages neatly into place. "You can send me more of those whenever you like." With a flash of something a bit wicked and teasing: "When you're all better, I mean."
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He's not sure. Not want more, maybe, or not like it. The lines of what Marcus wants and adamantly doesn't want are thin and brittle and difficult for Midnighter to predict. He wants Marcus to be comfortable. He also wants to touch him everywhere almost all the time.
Even now, though the desire is more platonic, more lazy; the idea of laying down with Marcus in his arms sounds like a fucking miracle.
"Well, I'll put that on my to-do list when I'm no longer perforated." He gives Marcus a wicked look in return. "That means you got three days to steel yourself, babe."
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"Well. I was thinking about telling you off for it," he admits. "It's amazing what a bit of metal will put in perspective, huh?" He shrugs, and, defiant and with determined effort, he says, "Life's short. I liked the damn picture."
He holds out his hands. "C'mon. Come up. I'd pick you up, but, you know. Wanna leave you a bit of your pride."
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQo1HIcSVtg
thx for that earworm.
its always playing in my head
Re: its always playing in my head
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