open / heaven created a miracle

[exorkismos]

Comments

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/UnitedZestyBergerpicard-max-1mb.gif

[exorkismos]

is any of it my fault?

https://tinyurl.com/ybdfdwvo

[poleaxed]

that depends on what the statute of limitations is for abusing the fuck out of a perfectly respectable chevy

asdlkj

[exorkismos]

no proof that was me

what's wrong with it?

[poleaxed]

sounds like a case for detective not my problem

suspensions are fucked
motors dying
exhaust pipe is about to rot off
your turn signals are bipolar
rust damage on the paint job

its a miracle youre not dead

[exorkismos]

god is good

does the paint job matter? bit of rust never hurt anyone

[poleaxed]

god helps those who help themselves

if the rust keeps going and eats into the frame youll need a new fucking truck
lucky you its not that bad yet i can swipe some paint over it
wont be the same color but i think youll live

[exorkismos]

very obviously false, look at me

yeah okay, choose something that complements, I trust you

I assume the good news is that you're giving me a discount on account of my life of religious poverty

[poleaxed]

thanks for the lesson father

no fucking way
do you know how much those materials cost
you need a new MOTOR
no the good news is that i CAN fix it

i havent even gotten to the bad news yet
your perpetual litany of auto neglect was just a statement of fact

[exorkismos]

we're coming back to that discussion
what's the bad news

[poleaxed]

IF i wanted to fix your truck
id have to cannibalise my car
plus like 70 bucks for extra materials
but we could make that up and then some by selling the remains of my sedan
IF thats the plan

[exorkismos]

wait, wait

is that the plan

c'mon dority don't get all selfless now

[poleaxed]

selfless
youre hilarious
youll be stuck with me until i find a car which is enough suffering to absolve you of some serious shit
and im taking my engine back when i do go
that thing is a tdi v10 diesel
it would rip apart my sedan if i ever went above 65
on your truck with some fixups you fly to 100 no problem

[exorkismos]

what

no come on

you ain't serious?

you don't want to be stuck with me

[poleaxed]

ive survived worse shit than your taste in music
also i want to see that engine finally in a car that can handle it
do you know what i had to do to get my hands on that thing?
no? good because you NEVER WILL

[exorkismos]

my taste in music is bloody impeccable
it's everything else that ain't gonna work out

[poleaxed]

you probably like the dire straits which makes you only slightly better than an actual terrorist

if youre worried about my personality
dont worry
yours is worse

[exorkismos]

amnesty for the dire straits, they produced the bare bones of romeo & juliet for amy ray to fully realise

look no it’s not that it’s work stuff

remember how you met me? what I do gets messy

[poleaxed]

sorry i didnt know i was talking music with a teenage lesbian from the 90s

oh my god im not gonna be connected to ur hip
ill be out looking for work while ur communing with winos

[exorkismos]

nearly, first heard it with a lesbian nun in the 90s, won’t hear a word against it

look, duck, I don’t understand what’s in this for you

[poleaxed]

i mean if you can stand the indigo girls its not ur fault
you were just born that way and you need to accept urself

i get to put that motor in a frame that can actually handle it
watching you drive something that fast will be hilarious
i like travelling with people and you score low on the "likely to molest me while im sleeping" meter
your possible murderer score is slightly higher but its fine on a bell curve
also ive done a lot of shitty things in my life but leaving you high and dry wouldnt be one
it would be lazy and negligent
which is worse

[exorkismos]

jesus

no this ain’t funny joan, I don’t want you to get screwed over travelling with me

[The thing is...the thing is. He needs to get to Pallas, MA as soon as he can, really. Bennett keeps calling him, increasingly more frantic.]

I’m going to massachusetts

[poleaxed]

your car is a fucking deathtrap if you make it out of a parking lot in one piece itll be divine intervention
an interstate trip with your suspension and shitty blinkers probably wont kill you
because your truck has a decent roll cage
but i cant say the same of whoever youll probably hit

and i can handle myself
its not like you have an office for me to sit in
were carpooling
i wont interrupt whatever the fuck you got going on in ma because frankly
i dont care
ill be looking for work so i can buy a frame and get my motor back
ive done this before with other people and nobody fucking died
you drama queen

[exorkismos]

christ you’re stubborn

look how long would it take you to get a frame

and fix up my car after

[poleaxed]

youre realizing this now?

you mean how long before youd get rid of me in ma?
it depends but ive gotten lucky and done switch outs in a week
that was really lucky though
could take a month or two

i know im a bitch but am i that fucking horrible to be around
im offering you a pretty fucking great deal asshole

[exorkismos]

yeah yeah guilt me into it why don't you. come on, you know that ain't it

can't cover food and board for two, you gonna make your own way with that